Halloween Kills .. or it kills my brain.

What it is about?

Oh what a miracle, Michael Myers survived. Now he is mighty pissed and runs amok.

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What is it really about?

“The evil dies tonight”, it says, in the night of Halloween 2018, directly following the events of the 2018 film, proclaimed by the beer-moist after-work lips of the Haddonfielder village Vollhonks, who are slowly but surely foxy because of the Michi, because – now times fat-poor butter by the fish – this can not go on, these murders and so. That’s mean, evil, what Michi is doing, it has to end. Now, right here, go! Before the blood dries everywhere. No street sweeper, no matter how hard he works, will be able to clean up that much blood. So get Michi on it, we’ll make short work of it.

“Evil dies tonight”, it says again, while the Haddonfield rage citizens will pull out the pitchforks and light torches and as a small mob tingles through the Halloween night streets. Fittingly, the mob also includes a few survivors from 1978; so they are qualified enough to loudly rebel against this killing machine after it has to wait 40 years. And so they march extremely loaded, resentful and worried, most worried about their dear little children, and go on the disoriented search for Michi, about whose whereabouts they have no clue and apart from that they have so no plan, how they can become at all statly to this overpowering giant, but the main thing is that the mob gets some fresh air. They always have a common enemy! The enemy, Michi, squats in the meantime in a flaming cellar, quasi symbolically the hell, and in itself it would be there also well armed for the cold winter evenings, however it becomes – spoiler!!!! – he is freed by carelessness, which is why the murdering continues again.

“Evil dies tonight”, it says again, and the Michis murders run even less slasher-typical than in the predecessor. Where usually in slashers with a nerve-racking scene set-up – in which the perpetrator lurks deeply hidden in the darkness, moving about in it like a ghost, and we watch the apparent victim being watched unsuspectingly, the grueling tension swelling immeasurably until the victim feels the threat on the back of her neck, senses the silent danger, tries to flee it helplessly and hopelessly – in Halloween Kilos we find the following scheme: hello, zack and dead. A hitherto completely unknown person is introduced, e.g. a fireman. 2 minutes later: fireman dead. More firemen. 2 minutes later: firemen dead. An old couple. 3 minutes later: couple dead. A gay couple: 5 minutes later: couple dead. Three children playing a prank on the gay couple. 5 minutes later: children dead. A couple in costume. 7 minutes later, dead. An old woman. 5 minutes later: dead. One unsatisfying, pre-game quickie after another. And that’s just the first half of the film.

“Evil dies tonight,” it says again and again, and at some point I don’t even itch anymore; the murders, the victims, the kills, the mob trumpeting their eternally same slogan. I’m completely numb, just like Michi’s knife, which he rams into the body of one after the other. They don’t even bother to introduce closeable characters anymore, who offer a projection surface for their own fears, so that I can shiver with horror, and at worst even pee my pants. Even the main characters from the first part, namely Laurie Strode, daughter Karen Strode and granddaughter Allyson Strode, degenerate here into complete sideshow characters who fritter away 80% of the film in the hospital, where the Michi never sets foot. Instead, the story is devoted to the mob, which actually makes it to Laurie & Family’s hospital and causes quite a stir there.

“Evil dies tonight,” it is said again and again by the annoying mob, ever larger and louder. Brain amputees gargling the same baloney over and over again, showing off their beer-drunk muscles. Small-town Nazis who demand total annihilation and in their blind rage soon harass an innocent until he takes flight, only he can’t fly and therefore claps his hands on the ground (whereupon no one claps their hands, only I put my hand to my forehead). Deliberately parallels are made here to real citizen protests. In particular, when the mob storms Haddonfield Hospital, it is strikingly similar to the storming of the Capitol, a disaster that serves as a culmination and simultaneous swan song of a pathetic presidency of the – Hands up! – Absolutely Greatest President of the Absolutely Greatest Country in the World Mr. Lovely Donald Trump has cast a large, heavy shadow over civic political movements in the United States. That the mob in Halloween Kills is equated by its bold presentation with the gobshites at the Capitol and thus virtually translates any form of political citizen protest as a vandalistic, destructive, mindless movement that risks human life leaves a bitter aftertaste in my mouth.

“Evil dies tonight,” it says again and again, and I think hard about who is actually meant by “evil.” Is it really Michi? A stocktaking after the end of the film shows for me: Died “tonight” are above all the Haddonfielders, who jump over Michi’s blade in rows. Michi, on the other hand, was not even batted an eyelash. So is the population of Haddonfield actually meant by this pathetically unimaginative slogan as “the evil” that “dies tonight”. And in principle, let’s face it, of course the Haddonfielders have to die, because otherwise we wouldn’t be watching the movie at all. The hero in this story is Michael Myers, because he is – with the exception of part 3 – the only constant in all Halloween movies. It’s only because of him that we watch Halloween at all, not because of Laurie Strode or the dumb bunch of monkeys that roam the empty streets as self-appointed vigilantes. Michi is depicted on the posters. There are Halloween costumes, merchandise, etc. from him. We don’t want anyone from the Strode clan, Dr. Loony Loomis, the mob or anyone else to get Michael Myers, we want them to get a good beating from Michael Myers. Once Myers is dead, the movie ends for us, the franchise ends for us. Only with him can the franchise continue. Whoever wants to take that away from us has to be the true evil, and that is now the Haddonfield population, who want to stop him and destroy him once and for all. True story, I’m sorry. And also – doesn’t matter, but I’ll bring it up anyway – doesn’t the name Michael also mean “Who’s like God?” you godless Myers rabble-rousers!??

“Evil dies tonight”, it is said again and again, and actually it means: “Your brain dies tonight”. Please don’t get broody, the gray cells are supposed to die, to be put in the ground, there is also a funeral feast of nachos with cheese sauce and Coca Cola in a 1 liter cup for 12,99€. It’s a movie and this movie is garbage. A movie without a beginning, without an end and most importantly: without a middle.

“Evil dies tonight”, it says again and again, while the film tries to whitewash its absolute lack of content and atmosphere with hefty violence and a bevy of references. Have you seen. The three kids who prank the gay couple are wearing the same Silver Shamrock Novelties masks as the kids in Halloween III, and did you get the meta joke that in Halloween Kill, the sequel to Halloween 2018, Laurie grunts as much in bed as she did in Halloween 2, the sequel to Halloween 1978? If not, watch one of the many-cell “25 Things You Missed In Halloween Kills” and freeze at how smart as makers they are!

“Evil dies tonight,” they say again and again; only, alas, the bad never dies, and that’s why it gives us this movie. It laughs at us that we even spend money on such a low-quality product. It’s like a vacuum cleaner, where you have to suck through the pipe yourself and besides, it only eats the dirt. No effort was made with the script, not with the cinematographic staging (compared to the first one, which is at least atmospheric), not with the acting.

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Conclusion

So dumb, it killed half of my brain cells.

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Facts

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What is Stranger’s Gaze?

The Stranger’s Gaze is a literary fever dream that is sensualized through various media — primarily cinema, which I hold in high esteem. Based on the distinctions between male and female gaze, the focus is shifted through a crack in a destroyed lens, in the hope of obtaining an unaccustomed, a strange gaze.